Holding Back the Years

A Timeline of Ten Things I've Done That You Probably Haven't

• 1986: Did not watch TV for five months to win a bet with my father for a Nintendo Entertainment System


• 1988: Jumped over a railroad barrier to dodge an oncoming train (admittedly the train at Hershey Park, but still)


• Studied under and later shared an office with essayist Phillip Lopate at Hofstra University


• Did not get drunk at any time in college, but...


• 1995: Once showed up early for class to sing "Dulcinea" from MAN OF LA MANCHA for a girl, but couldn't because she was late


• 1996: Scored a 730 out of a possible 800 on the GRE General Test Verbal


• 1998: Watched the 20th Anniversary re-release of the movie GREASE with aforementioned girl in an otherwise empty theater. (Nothing happened)


• 1999: Sat aboard a grounded plane for five hours flying Priceline from New York to Denver. Spent a night in St. Louis because of the delay, where I heard the following conversation:
  
  "How you doing?"
  "I'm alive."
  "Better than being dead."
  "Sometimes."


• Was reprimanded by the bus driver on a trip from Denver to Boulder for singing Toby Keith's "Should've Been a Cowboy" too loudly. Was sober at the time.


• 2003: Due to the August blackout, was forced to rehearse love-themed readings for a college friend's wedding in front of same aforementioned girl. (Nothing happened)