Dean Cain as Conrad Dean

In the upcoming CBS series Clubhouse, Dean Cain plays the star third baseman captain of the New York Empires. The show actually spins on the exploits of a teenaged boy who takes a batboy position on the team.

Already, I charge this show with several counts of lack of imagination. "Empire" sounds too close to "Umpire." The Empire uniforms are blue and white with a logo that looks like a white Met symbol. Cain's character seems like a mingling of Derek Jeter and Alex Rodriguez. And the character's name: if his first name had been Dean, the creator would only be guilty of Tony Danza syndrome (Tony Banta, Tony Micelli, Tony DiMeo...). As it is, Conrad Dean sounds like a Bizarro version of Dean Cain, not to mention Conrad Bain.

"What you talkin' bout, Mr. D?"