NCIS: "Chimera"

Good creepy episode last night with the team searching a Navy ship whose crew had disappeared on a classified mission. I expected them to encounter Reavers at some point. Steven Culp guest-starred not as Clayton Webb but as the lascivious Cmdr. Skinner.

Overused phrase of the season: "Read me in."

"If you ask nicely, I might read you in.

"I suggest you read us in."

"Your agent is not read in."

Halloween Doings

I don't do much for Halloween. When I worked at Hofstra I wore a Superman t-shirt under my usual shirt, tie, and glasses. We don't get many trick-or-treaters on my block. (Last year we had one.) If we didn't have M&M snack packs, I'd be giving out Fiber One Chocolate N' Oat bars tonight ("35% of your daily fiber needs, kids.").

UPDATE (5:50 PM): Our first trick-or-treaters of the night were two dimunitive Jasons Voorhees.

Robert Goulet Dies

From WENN:

Singer Robert Goulet Dies at 73

Actor and singer Robert Goulet, who shot to fame as Lancelot in the original Broadway production of Camelot, died Tuesday morning at a hospital in Los Angeles while awaiting a lung transplant; he was 73. A singer with matinee-idol good looks and a deep, powerful baritone, Goulet was born in Massachusetts but moved to Canada at an early age, prompting TV host Ed Sullivan to dub him the "American baritone from Canada." Though he co-hosted the Canadian TV show C.G.E. Showtime, it was when he starred opposite Richard Burton and Julie Andrews in the 1960 stage musical Camelot that he became a star, known for singing the ballad "If Ever I Would Leave You." He continued to make many television appearances, mostly on The Ed Sullivan Show and won a Grammy award as Best New Artist in 1962. Mainly a stage actor who appeared in innumerable stage productions and won a Tony award in 1968 for The Happy Time, Goulet also performed in Las Vegas and appeared in the films Underground, Atlantic City, Beetlejuice, The Naked Gun 2 1/2. In 1999, he provided the singing voice for Wheezy the Penguin in Toy Story 2, belting out the Randy Newman song "You've Got a Friend in Me." He is survived by his wife of 25 years, Vera, and a daughter and two sons from his first two marriages.

My brother and I took voice lessons with a family friend at LSU in 1991. Two favorite songs I learned were "C'est Moi" and "If Ever I Would Leave You". I'll miss Goulet's booming voice and spirit.

Goodbye, Joe. Hello, Joe.

The Yankees today signed former Marlins manager Joe Girardi to a three-year deal to succeed Joe Torre. I think Girardi will have an edge with the veterans and will teach the younger players as he once taught Jorge Posada. As a manager, he's a good young mind and I'm glad to get him.

Writing Happy

Blogging at Naked Authors.com this morning, Paul Levine raised the following quote from Gayle Lynds for discussion:

"I can't imagine a good writer having had a happy childhood."

I commented:

...I agree to some extent. I had a happy childhood and still find myself drawn to write, and to cut as much BS from my writing as I can.

Even the most positive people wish they'd handled one thing or another differently, wish they had more talent in some area. These are the gaps imagination almost subconsciously fills, and where writing in particular begins.

Don't forget the Mega Jug

...exhorts my latest coupon book from Kentucky Fried Chicken. The Mega Jug is KFC's 64 oz. drink container. Telling me not to forget it is like saying, "Don't forget the Loch Ness monster."

Happy Birthday, Dave White

Alex Rodriguez decided to surprise New Jersey Yankee fan White by opting out of the remainder of his record $252 million contract. The Yankees are adamant they won't pursue A-Rod on the free agent market, so one day after the Red Sox sweep their way to another championship, a new era begins in earnest.

More on Women's Murder Club

ABC's Women's Murder Club has won its timeslot its first three weeks on air. Its mix of crime and camaraderie is holding up, and I think I'll enjoy it as I do FOX's Bones. In fact, it's nice to see Jonathan Adams (Dr. Goodman on the first season of Bones) playing husband to one of the Club members.

What is up with Smallville this season?

I know there are many better things to do on Thursday nights, but for anyone still watching Smallville, what is up? Episodes since the premiere have been some of the weakest ever, with each character following a different, tangential storyline:

Lana seems to have it in for the Luthors, and she may be a clone.

Chloe Sullivan's career has somehow stagnated such that Lois is higher on the totem pole.

Lex is obsessed with Supergirl.

Clark is still obsessed with Lana, showing no signs of wanting to leave Smallville and use his powers for the greater good.

In other words, none of the characters has made any progress worth mentioning. This version of the classic story only makes sense if Clark doesn't become Superman. I smell a deus ex machina. Don't you just hate those?

Happy Birthday, Jaclyn Smith

You can have Farrah and the other Angels. Jaclyn's had me since flipping her hair free of a motorcycle helmet.

BUST by Ken Bruen and Jason Starr

Bust begins with cheapskate tech millionaire Max Fisher plotting the murder of his overbearing wife Dierdre so he can live happily ever after with his busty Greek-Irish executive assistant Angela. Max contacts a peculiar hitman calling himself Popeye, who is actually Angela's lover, Dillion, with whom she plans to rob Max blind.

Got all that? To reveal any more would spoil the book's madcap fun. The characters are all self-interested to some extent, but engaging enough that readers want to see what happens to them. For the players left standing in the end, the feeling carries over to the recently released sequel, Slide.

I can see Bruen and Starr collaborating, trying to top each other and tie everything together, doing a fine job.

Fictional Psychoanalysis

It may have been a good hook for The Sopranos, but overall I find fictional psychoanalysis a needless shortcut. Instead of letting characters reveal themselves in the course of the plot, motivations are ascribed to them.

For example, last season on Bones Seeley Booth was required to attend sessions with a psychiatrist after firing his weapon in public without cause (shooting the speaker off an ice cream truck that annoyed him). Would a former sniper, trained to have preternatural patience and respect for firearms, really snap like this? I think not.

This season, another psychiatrist, Dr. Sweets, will become a regular ostensibly because the FBI is concerned about subconscious conflict between Brennan and Booth, after Booth arrested Brennan's father. This may be meant to heighten the already good chemistry between the two, but chemistry tends to suffer under too much analysis.

John Francis Cuddy TV News

Interviewed by Sons of Spade's Jochem Vandersteen, Jeremiah Healy revealed:

The GOOD news on the Cuddy front is that a long-time friend and executive producer of television series (Martial Law, The Nero Wolfe Mysteries, Dick Van Dyke’s Diagnosis: Murder) is “pitching” Cuddy as a television series. We would probably update Cuddy as a Military Police veteran from the Persian Gulf conflict rather than the Vietnam War, and we would likely replace Cuddy’s visits to his wife at her gravesite by having an actress play the dead wife, whom only Cuddy can see (think Mike Hammer meets The Sixth Sense).

The Rap Sheet's J. Kingston Pierce commented:

Hmm. I like the notion that Cuddy could be coming to the small screen someday. We’ve been without decent private-eye series for far too long. But the widower sleuth’s customary visits to his late wife Beth’s grave, and how he even followed the advice she supposedly gave him during those drop-bys, became a peculiar attraction of the books. And part of what made those visits so interesting was that we never saw Beth, who had perished even before the first Cuddy novel, Blunt Darts (1984), began. We simply had to take it on faith that our hero could see her, or could at least sense her in some way. To give Beth a physical presence, no matter how ghostly, would be to detract from the commitment a reader, or maybe someday a viewer, has to make in believing that Cuddy isn’t merely crazy when he goes out to seek his wife’s counsel.

To which I responded:

I agree that giving Beth a more physical presence could take something away, but in the books, Cuddy does seem to converse with her about current cases--not merely reflect on what she might say were she alive. There would have to be some back-and-forth to be completely faithful to the books.

Complete fidelity aside, I would simply show Cuddy at Beth's grave, not have him or Beth say anything, but let him reveal his insights to another flesh-and-blood character after the fact.

On the other hand, Monk has done a good job of occasionally showing Adrian's dead wife, Trudy. She has a real presence on the show despite appearing so sporadically. I'd want the same effect from Beth's presence.

What do I know?

Last week I called for ABC to "bury Pushing Daisies." Yesterday the network announced it had picked up the show for the full season. Oh, well. At least we'll get to see where the writers intend to go with the premise.

The only other new shows with full-season pickups so far are Private Practice, Big Bang Theory, and Gossip Girl.

Out Today on DVD

...NCIS The Fourth Season, and Jeremy Lynch has posted my review for Crimespree Cinema.

Rockies vs. Red Sox

The Cleveland Indians lost to the Boston Red Sox 11-2, blowing a 3-1 series lead, and now the only interest I have in the World Series is the headline potential:

ROCKIES ROLL OVER SOX
RED SOX ROCKED
ROCKIES SOCKED
ROCKS IN THEIR SOX
SOX ROCK ROCKIES
ROCKIES SHOCK SOX...

And one we won't get to see:

CLEVELAND / ROCKS

Eyes on the Prize II

Tess Gerritsen asks, "Are anxious writers more successful?"

BernardL responded:

,,,Recognizing, and finding comfort in your success will not make you write badly.

To which I replied:

I believe that being too comfortable when writing does make you write badly. A little fear of failure keeps you on your toes, more able to anticipate and deal with obstacles along the way. The key is to not let in so much fear that it keeps you from writing.

When Captain America throws his mighty shield...

Did you ever ask why he throws it? Isn't he better served keeping the shield in front of him, blocking slings and arrows and nastier projectiles?

Eyes on the Prize

A few thoughts on success after watching some of Joe Torre's press conference on leaving the Yankees:

Torre said he didn't feel the level of trust from execs in the way he did his job. He also said he'd tried to convince the brass that five-game playoff series were about luck.

True, winning isn't everything. Every competitor would like to be recognized for effort whatever the result. However, given the choices of winning, placing, or losing, no honest competitor would want to trade or lessen the ambition to win.

No one succeeds without first envisioning success. New York may be the toughest sports town; the Yankees may have astronomical standards, but they also have won more than any other team in the history of sports.

Yes, winners accept second place after going for it all. Acceptance is not satisfaction.

WHEN ONE MAN DIES by Dave White

This review of White's first novel is biased. As Thrilling Detective Fiction Editor, I had the chance to read some of Dave's earliest Jackson Donne stories. I saw potential and heart in them. I also picked them apart like the language nut I am.

When Jackson's drinking buddy Gerry Figueroa dies in a hit-and-run, the bartender at The Olde Towne Tavern encourages Donne to look into the life of a man they only knew socially. When it appears Gerry was involved in manufacturing and pushing drugs, Jackson starts to suspect the hit-and-run wasn't an accident. The ensuing investigation pits him against his former Narcotics squad mentor, Bill Martin, the only man Jackson didn't name in a sweeping sting that turned his brother cops against him.

Knowing many of the characters from the stories, I was glad to see them on the larger canvas of When One Man Dies. Wouldn't you know, I found dozens of nits I would have picked, but past them all, I saw the same potential and heart that are distinctly Dave White. I look forward to more.

There can be only one...Clark Kent

So Dean Cain as the aforementioned Curtis Knox on Smallville was an immortal ala Vandal Savage, killing to preserve the woman he loved. Strangely, Dean's voice was pitched down (artificially?) to sound more sinister.

It was almost laughable. I don't know that it respected Dean's turn as a Clark Kent who was a capable reporter and attractive in his own right, without the S.

Bury Pushing Daisies

I called the premiere of Pushing Daisies "quirky fun," but after three episodes it's just too precious. Cloyingly cute. Godzilla, step on Bambi already.

End of an Era

Joe Torre and the Yankees have parted ways after Torre refused a one-year, $5 million performance-based contract.

I don't blame Torre for anything. I thank him for contending for twelve years, winning four World Series, and carrying himself with class throughout. That said, I think the time had naturally come for a new voice. Every pro-Torre argument I'd heard the past two weeks sounded simply scared of the new. I don't know who will be the next great Yankee manager, but I'm willing to start looking.

I Still Like Chuck

...after four episodes, but I want to see Chuck's spy adventures spill into his day job more, forcing him to juggle. As it is, he seems to have lots of downtime to go on missions with Sarah and Casey, I'm also buying Chuck and Sarah's chemistry, though they're moving a tad fast for me.

What Would MacGyver Do?

I just mended one of my everyday accoutrements with sheer MacGyveresque ingenuity. Even my closest friends may be hard-pressed to notice the repairs.

Roger Moore at 80

Roger Moore was the first James Bond I saw, and though he didn't last as my favorite Bond, he did sustain the franchise from 1973 to 1985, playing Bond in seven authorized films, more than anyone to date (Sean Connery's seventh film, Never Say Never Again, was not authorized). In that time, Moore broadened Bond's sense of humor and thus his appeal. No one can wrinkle his nose and smirk with disdain better than Sir Roger.

By the same token, Moore is probably most responsible for turning Bond into a caricature, a reputation that followed the character until 2006's Casino Royale. Moore hates shooting firearms, which caused him to ruin countless Bond takes. All the scenes that involve running in his seven Bond movies were performed by doubles as he felt he looked awkward running. He hates being wet while acting, not the best quality for someone playing a Royal Navy commander.

But it seems Moore was in on the joke:

"To me, the Bond situations are so ridiculous, so outrageous. I mean, this man is supposed to be a spy and yet, everybody knows he's a spy. Every bartender in the world offers him martinis that are shaken, not stirred. What kind of serious spy is recognized everywhere he goes? It's outrageous. So you have to treat the humor outrageously as well. My personality is entirely different than previous Bonds. I'm not that cold-blooded killer type. Which is why I play it mostly for laughs."

And all his quirks may make him the most memorable actor to play Bond.

Women's Murder Club

Women's Murder Club, based on the novels by James Patterson (1st to Die...4th of July), premiered on ABC last night. Patterson's books don't interest me, but the show could hold my attention ala FOX's Bones. Angie Harmon and Rob Estes, both seen in law enforcement backdrops before, slide easily into their new roles as Insp. Lindsay Boxer and her ex-husband-cum-superior officer Tom Mitchell. The rest of the cast, all good-looking, was less familiar to me but played their professional roles and personal chemistry well enough. If the show pulls off this balance, I'll keep watching.

Look who's coming to Smallville

Next week, Chloe seeks the help of a dangerous doctor to be cured of her meteor power. Dr. Curtis Knox will be played by previous Man of Steel Dean Cain. I was hoping Dr. Knox would be a good guy, like Christopher Reeve's Virgil Swann, but apparently he's villainous and immortal. O-kay.

Crimespree #20

...arrived in my mailbox today, chock full of the usual good stuff, including my review of the latest two Jesse Stone movies available on DVD. Thanks as always to Jon, Ruth, and Jen Jordan, and Jeremy Lynch.

Did You Know?

Nick Nolte was considered for the role of Superman/Clark Kent in the 1978 movie. He also turned down the role of Indiana Jones in Raiders of the Lost Ark.

"You know, you really shouldn't smoke, Miss Lane."

Settling down

The Yankees are out of the playoffs. Joe Torre may be out as manager. Neither development gets to me the way Luis Gonzales's 2001 blooper off Mariano Rivera did. It was then I realized I would be a Yankee fan whether they won or lost.

In the middle of last night's game, I said, "A-Rod can leave town now." Then he had a single and a homerun. Not his best or worst performance. The same can be said for the team as a whole.

All you can ask is to have your best players on the field. From there you just see what happens. Cleveland's pitchers stepped up and handled the Yankee hitters one by one. The Yankee pitchers couldn't return the favor.

Good luck to the competition. I'd like to see Arizona vs. Cleveland in the Wold Series,

Thank you, Trot Nixon.

As expected, Roger Clemens re-aggravated his hamstring after giving up three runs in 2 1/3 innings. Luckily, rookie Phil Hughes pitched 3 2/3 scoreless innings after that, allowing the Yankee offense to come alive. Johnny Damon hit a three-run blast for a 5-3 lead, and Robinson Cano hit a double misplayed by Trot Nixon to put the Yankees up 8-3. Alex Rodriguez and Hideki Matsui had two hits each.

The Cubs, Phillies, and Angels were all swept out of the playoffs, but with an 8-4 win, the Yanks live to play another day.

Shark Season One

The James Woods vehicle Shark was my favorite new show last fall. My DVD review of Season One is now on Crimespree Cinema.

Not Our Year (?)

Amid twelve years of success in Yankeeland, the team has had a nasty habit of losing on my birthday. Last night was no exception. Though Andy Pettitte pitched spectacularly into the seventh inning, locusts (actually flying ants called Canadian soldiers) plagued Joba Chamberlain in the eighth, causing him to surrender a 1-0 lead.

The swarm did not faze Mariano Rivera, who pitched two innings of scoreless ball before Luis Vizcaino gave up the game-winning base hit to a heretofore ineffective Travis Hafner.

The Yankees' 2007 season now rests on the 45-year-old arm and balky hamstrings of Roger Clemens. I am not optimistic.

Forget retractable roofs. Give me some decent mosquito nets.

And I'd be remiss not to mention the continuing struggles of Alex Rodriguez ("Mr. Regular Season") and semi-permanent DH Hideki Matsui.

Juicing

No, not steroids.

"I have put no chemicals. Only natural juices and berries." (From what movie?)

We bought a Jack La Lanne Power Juicer to juice apples from our backyard. The juice is good, but the juicer overheats, jams, and occasionally launches fruit like popcorn from a popper. Why is none of this on the Infomercial?

UPDATE: I misremembered the movie quote. See the comments for details.

Attention, Poets

Editor Kathleen Paul-Flanagan is seeking submissions for the October and November issues of "remark." print poetry zine. Please submit 3-5 poems. The November issue has a theme: Time.

Today he is...33 years old.

If you recognize the entry title as a line from Three Amigos! you're probably a contemporary of mine. Unlike the infamous El Guapo, I'm not shorting my age. Nothing too significant about thirty-three except that on February 5, 2008 I can celebrate my 33 1/3 birthday (and you know I will).

No plans that I know of today or in the near future, but here I am, awake in the wee hours, as on Christmas morning, wondering what might happen. A childhood habit perhaps, but I hope I never outgrow it.

UPDATE: Check this post's timestamp. Pure coincidence.

More on Crimespree Cinema

Jeremy Lynch has posted my roundup of early takes on this fall's new crime shows. Thanks again, Jeremy.

Where do you get your ideas?

Editor Cindy Rosmus of Yellow Mama has accepted my poem "A Single Bound" for future publication.

Blarney

Editor J. Kingston Pierce has posted my entry to The Rap Sheet Limerick Contest.

PUSHING DAISIES

I'd seen previews of this new comedy premiering tonight at 8 on ABC. I did not know the premise included a P.I. Here's the synopsis from ABC.com:

Grown up Ned (Lee Pace) puts his talent to good use by touching dead fruit and making it ripe with everlasting flavor. He opens a pie shop. But his gift leaves him wary of becoming close to anyone, as beautiful waitress Olive Snook (Kristin Chenoweth) finds out. His life as a pie maker gets more complicated when private investigator Emerson Cod (Chi McBride) finds out about Ned's secret. Emerson convinces the cash-strapped Ned to help him solve murder cases (and collect the hefty reward fees) by raising the dead and getting them to name their killers.

Then Ned is handed the case that changes his life forever. His childhood sweetheart, Charlotte "Chuck" Charles (Anna Friel), is murdered on a cruise ship under strange circumstances. Her death brings him back to his hometown of Coeur d' Coeurs to bring Chuck back to life, albeit briefly, and solve the crime. But once reunited with Chuck, Ned can't bring himself to send her back. He helps her escape after her grieving aunts, Lily and Vivian (Swoosie Kurtz, Ellen Greene), former synchronized swimmers Darling Mermaid Darlings, think they've buried her forever.

Chuck becomes the third partner in Ned and Emerson's PI enterprise, but she encourages them to use their skills for good, not just for profit. Ned is overjoyed to be reunited with Chuck, the only girl he's ever loved. Life would be perfect, except for one cruel twist -- if he ever touches her again, she'll go back to being dead, this time for good.

Sounds like a comedic version of FOX's canceled Tru Calling, but it has gotten great buzz from the critics so far. We'll see.

UPDATE (9:08 PM): The first episode was quirky fun, the no-touching rule working to heighten romance. The mystery could've used more closure, and the fairy tale narrator grated after a while, but I'll tune in next week.

Goodnight, Moneypenny

Crimespree Cinema's Jeremy Lynch asked me to write a tribute to Lois Maxwell, the original Miss Moneypenny from the James Bond films. Read it here.

New Poetry

Issue 8 of The Orange Room Review is now live, featuring my poem "I Tell a Joke About Susan". Thanks to editors Corey and Rachael Cook.

Doomsday for the Mets

My friend John and I trekked to Brooklyn to watch the last regular season Yankee game and Superman Doomsday with our friend Deshant and his girlfriend Tracy. When I e-mailed the plan around three weeks ago, I billed it as "Superman Doomsday (Hopefully Not Yankees' Doomsday)."

Deshant made chili, Tracy made biscuits, and John brought a cannoli cake. We watched some of the Yankee game. Jorge Posada managed, Andy Pettitte was bench coach, and Mike Mussina was pitching coach. We were more drawn to what turned out to be doomsday for the Mets' 2007 season.

Met fans are calling for Tom Glavine's head: How could he come up short in such a huge spot? They're calling for Willie Randolph's head: How did he manage to lose a 7 1/2-game lead with 17 games to go? In this Yankee fan's opinion, they should be calling for a better bullpen.

Dump Tom Glavine? He's close to retirement anyway. If the Mets' relief pitching had held more leads, he wouldn't be in the position of pitching a crucial game on the last day of the regular season.

Dump Willie Randolph for a more fiery manager? Fiery rarely works over the long haul of a season. Managers don't play the games anyway.

Get younger? The current Mets are young, and because of that, they have a hothead like Jose Reyes and a hotdog like Lastings Milledge.

Reporters and fans are asking how the Mets will overcome the worst collapse on MLB history. My answer would be that next season is a new season. Everyone starts 0-0 with nothing to overcome.

Don't get me wrong. I sympathize after the Yanks' historic 2004 postseason collapse.