You probably already knew this about my life...

Patrick Shawn Bagley of The Lineup fame asked a bunch of bloggers which comics character they'd most like to write. Patrick will post the results on Monday, but I'm posting my answer to celebrate the birthday of an actor who played the character on TV. My mind flitted to Daredevil/Matt Murdock, Mal Reynolds, and The Middleman, but in the end I chose...

If the question is really who I'd most like to write, I'd have to go with Superman/Clark Kent. Sure, he's been around forever, but I've always related best to the strange visitor believing in the core values of his new home such that he'd want to live the American Dream himself.

My single- or six-issue run would have Clark either powerless or unable to change into the Superman outfit—lost at Metro Dry Cleaners?!!—because I like the idea of Clark working in secret, doing what he can without the swooping gesture that gathers a crowd. The storyline might be that Clark has sworn not to don the tights and cape in an effort to show Lois they can have some semblance of a "normal" relationship together. And yet, do-gooder that he is, he can't resist helping people where he can.

My story arc might be a lot like the first season of Lois & Clark. Dean Cain turns 42 today. He recently guest-starred on Smallville as an immortal Vandal Savage-type villain, and his voice was blatantly, artificially pitched down.

More MIDDLEMAN

It's actually not very often a TV show I like is also a ratings hit. JAG and NCIS are the exceptions, and don't forget NBC cancelled JAG after Season 1.

The latest show I'm championing is The Middleman on ABC Family Mondays at 10PM, a mix of Men in Black and The Man From U.N.C.L.E. that knows how to laugh at itself and yet with actors equally adept at comedic and dramatic moments. Show creator and exec producer Javier Grillo-Marxuarch says the ratings, "while improving incrementally...have not been stellar, so we - and by 'we,' i mean the network and myself - have made the decision to make and air a twelve episode first season of 'the middleman.'"

Whatever The Middleman's future, I'll be there for each episode and, I hope, the DVDs, and I'd follow the cast and creators in any future projects.

Food as Muse

The recent tomato salmonella outbreak has been traced to jalapeños. Richie Narvaez encouraged me to write about this to follow up my poem "Tomatophilia", so I did. Is it a good poem? That's the question.

Another Way to Die

...is the title of the next James Bond movie theme song, the first duet in franchise history, to be sung by Alicia Keys and Jack White, written by White.

More detail from Zap2it.com.

I'm just grateful the movie isn't called Another Way to Die, dangerously close to the uninspiring Die Another Day.

Psyched

Jeremy Lynch has posted my review of Psych Season 2 to Crimespree Cinema.

Recipe for Someday

...is my latest poem on La Lune Bleue Planete. Thanks to editor Nan Purnell. Some scrolling required.

Stephanie Seymour Turns 40

Photo by Greg Kessler

It's difficult to say why certain celebrities, writers, artists, etc. capture your attention over others. I find as the favorites of my youth age, my appreciation for them and for that time only grows.

Robert Crais Signing

I walked to the Carle Place station this afternoon and made my way to The Mysterious Bookshop thanks to HopStop.com. The last time I met Crais was almost ten years ago at an L.A. Requiem signing at Partners & Crime. Great to see his career going strong with Chasing Darkness.

Also great to see Joe and Bonnie from the late, lamented Black Orchid Bookshop. Added incentive for me was the chance to meet Lineup editors Richie Narvaez and Anthony Rainone.


Photo: Joe Guglielmelli (l to r) Anthony Rainone, Richie Narvaez, me.

I had to leave the festivities early to catch the train home with my brother, but Richie and Anthony signed a copy of The Lineup for Crais, which he received with enthusiasm and said he would read on the plane.

Back to Bertucci's

Regan, Deshant, Tracy, Matt Tedesco, John Ricotta and I had dinner last night at one of Font's favorite hangouts, Bertucci's Brick Oven Pizzeria. I had been in the mood for pizza but went with Lasagna Rustica on the spur of the moment: a swell blend of sausage, beef, ricotta, and pasta that I finished for breakfast this morning. After dinner, we played Cranium Wow back at the house, where my most impressive feats were getting Matt and Regan to guess "unibrow" from a drawing with my eyes closed, and unscrambling America Online from the category "Original Service Provider" and the clue phrase "Reliance on AIM."

Our team won pretty handily, only missing guessing "867-5309" as hummed by Regan. Hard to believe it's been twelve years since college and we have as much fun as ever getting together.

In Plain Sight Renewed

Zap2it.com reports USA Network has ordered a 16-episode second season of the witness-protection drama In Plain Sight. It hasn't been must-see TV for me. The characters still seem a bit flat, but with another season comes hope.

Road Trip to Baltimore

Made a dry run trip to Baltimore today in preparation for Bouchercon in October. It was mostly uneventful, meaning we made excellent time. I look forward to meeting a bunch of people at my first con.

What a Game

I didn't watch the whole MLB All-Star Game last night, but who did? Though I'm against the game counting for homefield in the World Series, I have to admit it added excitement. Early on, I could feel the NL did not want to lose. As the game went on, it seemed neither team wanted to say goodbye to The House That Ruth Built. And in the end, it was perhaps the tightest, most memorable All-Star Game ever.

Let's do brunch.

Had brunch at Elmo yesterday with my friends Regan, Deshant, and Deshant's girlfriend Tracy. Passing on french toast and toasted granola, I went with the Tex-Mex, which turned out to be scrambled eggs with crushed tortilla chips on a bed of black beans and cilantro. Just right.

I showed Regan a copy of The Lineup, and she didn't get my poem "Witness Protection", but she did like one by Misti Rainwater-Lites.

Deshant bought a copy of chapbook directly from me and promised he submit for Issue #2. He also gave me The Family Guy Presents Blue Harvest on DVD.

After brunch, we watched Wall-E at the 34th Street AMC Loews. With friends, I didn't mind paying $12 for a movie I'd already seen.

Bobby Murcer Dies

Away at a birthday party Saturday night, I didn't hear of Bobby Murcer's death until early Sunday morning. I enjoyed Murcer both on radio and TV. He exemplified good humor and class to the end. Richard Goldstein's New York Times article recaps Murcer's career.

Facespotting

Patrick Fischler played friendly gem-eating alien Roland Newleaf on Monday's episode of The Middleman, and fidgety computer tech Jimmy on last night's episode of Burn Notice.

Burn Notice: "Breaking and Entering"

We last left Michael Westen driving into the trailer of a semi to finally meet the people who burned him. In tonight's season premiere, before that can happen, Michael overhears a firefight and is forced to help a computer geek steal data from a private military firm. Though the tone seems a touch darker, the action a bit more urgent, the characters' chemistry remains.

If this season holds together as well as the first, we should learn enough to keep us riveted, but not enough to satisfy until the end.

Rapping about The Lineup

The Rap Sheet editor J. Kingston Pierce, who was kind enough to blurb The Lineup, asked me to wax a bit about the project's history, and about the place of crime in poetry. You can read the result here.

William Shatner, Talk Show Host?

Zap2it.com reports on Shatner's Raw Nerve, premiering on Bio Channel August 19, at 10PM. Early guests include Leonard Nimoy, John Voight, Jimmy Kimmel, Judge Judy, Jenna Jameson, Leonard Nimoy, Kelsey Grammer and Valerie Bertinelli.

Buy Now!

The Lineup: Poems on Crime is officially on sale at Lulu.com. Click on the cover image in the left sidebar for more information. Thank you, one and all. I'll begin mailing contributor and advertiser copies tomorrow.

The Essence of Spenser

Peter Rozovsky asks, "What makes your favorite series characters special? What could they least afford to lose in any sequel, movie or TV version?"

I commented:

Robert B. Parker's Spenser comes to mind, a character marked by his imposing presence, wry attitude, and Irish heritage. Spenser's first TV incarnation, as played by Robert Urich, looked the part but lacked the attitude. His second appearance, in three mediocre A&E movies starring Joe Mantegna, had more edge but was totally off physically.

Incidentally Hawk--Spenser's contemporary cohort played indelibly by Avery Brooks in the Urich series--was played in the first A&E movie by Shiek Mahmud-Bey, easily at least fifteen years Mantegna's junior.

...Hawk didn't have a large role in the movie. Many of the roles in the A&E movies seemed miscast. I guess these were the best actors to be had on a basic cable budget after paying Mantegna.

Then again, since Mantegna himself was miscast, it's difficult to imagine who could've played Hawk to his Spenser.

In the third A&E movie, Hawk was played by Ernie Hudson.

...Mantegna did make a go of it and I thought he was better than Urich at playing Spenser's wisecracking attitude. Robert B. Parker himself wrote the script, and while I was none too impressed, I don't think the script impacted Mantegna's performance. He just couldn't overcome not being a big Irish guy...

On the flipside, I think Tom Selleck has proven Parker's other series protag, Jesse Stone, is not tied to his appearance. The Jesse Stone of the books is 25 years Selleck's junior, and yet Selleck plays his mix of quiet strength and alcohol addiction about as well as you can ask. I think part of his success is having more control over production than Mantegna did and knowing how best to use it in service of the movie. The Jesse Stone scripts are not written by Parker but sure do sound like him.

GO-GO GIRLS OF THE APOCALYPSE by Victor Gischler

Out tomorrow is Victor Gischler's new novel of what happens after the end of the world. In the near future. divorced insurance salesman Mortimer Tate decides to stock up on guns and goods and wait out Armageddon in a mountaintop cave. Nine years later, he feels the urge to come out of seclusion with the quixotic goal of finding his ex-wife Anne.

I'm a longtime fan of Victor Gischler's work, but even if I weren't, I wouldn't be able to resist the title. To describe the book in much detail is to spoil the surprise readers should feel along with Mortimer at what the world is like after nuclear devastation. The catalyst is no one stroke, but the confluence of current events taken to plausible conclusions. This grounding allows Gischler to sketch out his new world without bogging the story down in exposition.

The result is a brisk, funny, poignant read as Mortimer and friends rediscover their purpose.

Who else remembers this show?

Crimespree Cinema's Jeremy Lynch has posted my review of The Big Easy: Season One, starring Tony Crane and Susan Walters in the roles made semi-famous by Dennis Quaid and Ellen Barkin.

KUNG FU PANDA and WALL-E

My brother and I have gone to the movies the past two weekends. I really enjoyed Kung Fu Panda: authentic animal-style kung fu, interesting voice cast, and most important, a fresh script.

Last week, we saw Wall-E, a sci-fi comedy/cautionary tale against consumerism. Everything was delivered well, but not in a fresh way.

Yesterday, my brother and two friends saw Hancock. I passed, but he tells me it's better than he expected. Not quite "good", but he'd consider getting it on video.

Friday the 4th Forgotten Book

Patti Abbott asked me to blog about a forgotten children's book, but I wasn't big on reading until high school. The first books to pique my interest were To Kill a Mockingbird and The Catcher in the Rye, hardly forgotten.

So I'll blog about the first extracurricular reading I did, The Fifth Profession by David Morrell. The cover touted Morrell as the creator of Rambo and its synopsis grabbed me.

Ex-Navy SEAL-turned-professional bodyguard Savage is hired to rescue beautiful Rachel Stone from her abusive husband. Teaming with fellow bodyguard and modern samurai Akira, Savage plunges into a globe-trotting adventure with surprising psychological depth.

Two months after reading The Fifth Profession, I got hooked on Robert B. Parker's Spenser and his similar dynamic with Hawk, and the rest is bookshelf history.

Burn Notice: The Book

Tod Goldberg, author of the upcoming Burn Notice tie-in novel, The Fix, talks about his process bringing Michael Westen to life on the page.

"F---ing Tomatoes!"

The entry title is my way of announcing my two latest poems at AsininePoetry.com, "George Carlin Goes to... ?" and "Tomatophilia". Be warned, the Carlin poems contains one of the seven words he made famous.